I’m on holiday this week! I really am. Cornwall to be exact. I expect it’s raining. I’m actually writing this from the past, so as not to deprive my three faithful readers of high quality blog content.
I’m a big fan of the old Tag post, where someone (Possibly the Queen? Maybe Dave Grohl? Probably not Dave Grohl) sets a series of potentially interesting questions for bloggers to answer. I saw just such a post recently about bedtime routines, which I originally assumed would be relating to the childfolk. But no! This one is all about me. So, here’s my bedtime tag.
Describe your usual bedtime routine.
Er, on a gym night it’s a bloody train wreck as I don’t get home until 10.30pm. I then run myself ragged (on top of running myself ragged) to shower, have a quick snack, then try to go to sleep. With wet hair on the pillow, eurgh. Non-gym nights usually see me comatose on the sofa with exhaustion, before dragging my sorry arse into the kitchen to unload the dishwasher. Then I brush my teeth for three minutes and squat at the same time, before collapsing into bed and remembering I need to put cuticle oil / lipbalm / handcream on. But they’re all the way over there on the dresser because small hands like to touch my nice expensive things.
What are your favourite pyjamas?
These fellas right here. The rainbow is overtaking the unicorn in the kitsch ridic stakes, you mark my words.
What is your current bedtime reading?
Oh get out of town! I haven’t read anything since 2015. Unless you count Facebook.
What would I find on your bedside table?
I have a spartan bedside table, containing a lamp, a clock radio, and this drinks coaster…
What scent makes you sleepy?
What is your usual bedtime and wake up time?
Aim: 10pm down, 6.15am up. Actual: 11.30pm down, 6.40am up. It’s funny isn’t it – if I drag myself out of bed at 6.37am, I feel like I’m winning at life all day because I was early. 6.43am is shit the bed late and I can never claw it back.
What are your top three bedtime products?
A clock, clean teeth, and my clothes out ready for the next day because I’m a bit panicky and control-freaky like that.
What is your most common sleeping position?
Oh, I’m annoying. I sleep as far as is humanly possible to the edge of the bed (good), but I yank all of the bottom half of the duvet to my side (bad). I don’t like to be covered, I have to have the duvet between my knees and a full leg out. Always the cold side of the pillow, too.
Do you have anything you like to take to bed with you?
Just the memories and regrets of a lacklustre day and the hope that maybe, when dawn breaks, I’ll have won some sort of global mega lottery.
What is your worst bedtime habit?
Night terrors. Not so bad now, but I used to suffer with them really badly and scare the shit out of my husband by screaming and running down the hallway. I also used to dream about spiders to the point where I’d need to sleep with my bedside light AND my glasses on, all the better to see them with. Actually, I did once go through a horrific phase of genuinely adopting some sort of sixth arachnid sense, where I’d wake up and think “there’s a spider on the wall next to me”. And, dear reader, there would be. We moved house, it helped. Refer back to my drinks coaster of choice…it’s all very life imitating art, innit?
I also check on my children about six times apiece before actually committing my arse to mattress.
So there you go, that was my bedtime tag! Enlightened? Thrilled? Meh. I’m on holiday, I don’t care. Jokes, thanks for reading. I’m nominating the lovely Bridget from Bridie By The Sea next.
-SJW July 2017