#143: A letter to the birthday girl

#143: A letter to the birthday girl
4 minutes to read

A year ago, I’d just turned 32 and I was feeling a bit morose about it. Being in my thirties didn’t set well with me, and I felt there was so much in my life that still wasn’t quite right. Now, a year on, I wanted to write myself one of those lovely retrospective look-back letter type things. You know, the ones you always write mentally when you’ve had a glass of wine and watched a sad film.

Hey you, in 2016.

Happy birthday! It’s me, from a year on, and I (we?) have just turned 33.

So I wanted to tell you a few things, that might make this coming year a bit easier for you. Ready?

You’re going to move house in a few months. You still rent, but it’s the most beautiful house you’ve lived in. There’s an airing cupboard! Fancy. And a garden that you’re really, REALLY bad at maintaining. You love living here. 

The baby (who is 18 months old, now), is the most amazing little being. She’s just started to walk and she talks a bit – to be honest she’s a bit batshit, but she’s ever so funny.

The big one is going to give you a rough time this year. Don’t worry, she’s fine, but she’s going to test you to the limits and you’re going to need to take lots of deep breaths, and remind yourself every second that you love her.

You’re really worried about going back to work. I’m sorry – it’s going to suck. Like, way worse than the first time you went back. You’re going to cry a lot and wail about the injustice of it all. Most of your job is going to be outsourced about two months after you go back, and you’ll be told some worrying things about your career prospects. BUT – you’ll get through it. And now, there might actually be a glimmer of opportunity for you, so just hang in there and keep chipping away. Keep your head down and don’t get so cross.

You’re going to find out that there’ll be a new baby in the family (not your baby, don’t panic). Then, something very sad is going to happen and the baby will be born asleep. It’s going to gut you and your family. You have another niece – she’s not here, with you, but she was real and she matters. Remember her. Tell the girls about her.

You know that half marathon you’re training for? Girl, you’re going to smash it. You’ve got a target time in your head, that you refuse to tell anyone about in case they laugh at you for being too optimistic. You’re going to run it quicker than that. Then you’re going to run another half marathon. Then you’re going to enter another two, AND you’re going to enter the ballot for London. Eeeeks!

In fact, you have no idea how much you’re going to work on your strength and fitness over this next year. You’re going to be RIPPED. Well, a bit ripped. Your Instagram page? You’re going to rebrand it into a fitness type profile and you’re going to realise that your dream is in fitness media. You’re legit good at this.

Yeah, the blog is kind of ticking over. Sorry. You’ve not been scouted yet by an agent or hit millions of followers. Without wishing to put you off, you’re average at best. But you’re ok with it – your life is full. You keep it merrily going and you get some good opportunities. You get a few Mumsnet Blog of the Days and you wet yourself with excitement – that’s still a big thing! Well done.

The big child gets her first choice of school. Breakfast club, after school club – it’s all sorted and it’s going to be fine, don’t worry.

YOU HAD TO TURN DOWN A FREE GIN CRUISE. Both girls get chicken pox within a fortnight – it’s not fun. You had to turn down a gin cruise. You poor sod. You couldn’t offload the spotty children and so you had to turn down a gin cruise. It still stings. That gin cruise though. Oh my god. Free gin cruise.

You’re going to make so many friends. The friends that you’ve only just got to know now, they’ll still be there, and some of them are going to turn into wonderful friendships. You’re going to get closer to some old friends, too. You’re going to drift from a couple – you can probably guess who – and actually, they kind of don’t matter as much anymore.

Adam continues to put up with you. He takes you to see Kings of Leon again! They’re awesome. Yes, they do Fans. Don’t wear those black wedges, they’ll hurt. 

You looked in the mirror, just the other week in my time, and you were happy. You felt happiness in your heart. It’s a weird feeling for you, I know. You’ve got it good.

Happy birthday.

Love always xxx

2 Comments

  1. Ellen
    August 21, 2017 / 12:07 pm

    So many feels!! ❤️

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